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| Those teeth where made for chompin'! |
When I was pregnant, I had visions of how my son wouldbe…his accomplishments, his smile and laugh, all those cutesie things. I thoughtmaybe if I visualized a son that didn’t throw tantrums, chuck oatmeal on thefloor or bite his peers, he would be destined to be an angel child. It doesn’twork that way. No one wants to admit they have a problem child especially aBITER. Well, I write this blog today as the mother of a child that has a biting problem. For manyweeks straight, I received a call from his school everyday, if not twice a daythat he was biting. I was terrified, embarrassed and worried about how we couldbreak this habit as quick as it started. I did some research, talked to otherparents and his teachers and I am proud to say he has gone 8 days now withoutbiting! It is a daily, even hourly struggle when you are going through it. Youhave to be on a constant lookout for those triggers so you can stop it. Persistenceis key. Here are my collective tips I took away from my research but if youonly remember one this from this post, know BITING IS A NORMAL BEHAVIOR ORPHASE FOR MOST YOUNGER CHILDREN. Don’t be embarrassed it happens to the bestparents.
WHY THEY DO IT
- Communication: Children under the age of 2 usuallybite because of their lake of communication skills. They don’t have words yetto show that they are excited, tired, happy, hungry or upset. Just like you andI, they are filled with feelings they want to express and using their mouths isthe most intuitive and easiest way to get them out.
- Teething: It may be as obvious as teeth tryingto come through. Biting down on something is a great way to relieve the pain ofsore gums and little ones don’t know to discriminate on what that thing isuntil they are shown it is a negative action.
- Emotions: Toddlers experiment with their emotions& feelings. They don’t understandthat something that feels good to them may not feel good to another toddler.They are constantly testing actions to see results and reactions. This is howthey establish outcomes and help establish themselves as individuals withseparate feelings from others.
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| I didn't mean to bite, I just want to give you a kiss!! |
HOW TO STOP IT
- Find the triggers: We found with Sawyer, it wasnever out of anger but from being overexcited and tired. He didn’t know howelse to release his excitement but through his teeth. When he got really tiredhe would try to snuggle and would sometimes nudge and bite. Or sometimes justthat he wanted to kiss us and he didn’t know the difference. Some othertriggers might be: hunger, overstimulation or being crowded.
- Be Proactive: If you have identified whattriggers your child to bite you can intervene before a bite even occurs or beclose by at those times.
- Redirect and give Alternatives: Give themsomething else to focus their energy on like a toy or book. I read a good quote that said “Toddlers arelike two-ton trucks, when they get going with an idea, it can be hard to stop.”So the sooner you notice them wanting to bite the easier it will be to get themon to another activity. Taking them out of the situation all together ishelpful too.
- Let them know it hurts: Just like everythingelse, children have to learn that biting hurts. Don’t overreact but confrontthem in a stern voice right when they bite. Say things like: “That’s biting!”“Biting hurts, we do not bite people”. Make sure they see your disapproval andtry to remove them from the situation. Give them an opportunity to help if theyhave hurt another. Comfort the other child so they can see the attention goesto the victim and not the biter.
- Praise them for not biting: Everyday that I pickSawyer up from school and he hasn’t bitten, I say “Great Job Sawyer on notbiting, you’re such a good boy”. He may not know exactly what I am saying butkids are smarter than you think and he will start to relate the two.
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| Please don't bite me!! |
WHAT NOT TO DO
- In my opinion biting back is not an option. Thissends a confusing message that it is not okay for children to bite but okay fora parent to do it.
- Try not to overreact when they bite someone.This might make them want to bite again if they find the reaction to beexciting or funny.
NOTE: Remember I am not an expert just a curious parent.What I say may not work for everyone and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ifyou have tried everything and your child continues to bite, contact your pediatrician.They might have some other options to help.
Helpful sites:
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/biting/Stopping_Toddler_Biting_Behaviors.htm
